Surviving a house full of whispers

“Surviving a House Full of Whispers” is the second book in a proposed trilogy of memoirs by Sharon Wallace. Following “A House Full of Whispers,” the story picks up just minutes after where the last book left off—with sixteen-year old Sharon escaping through the woods where her stepfather chased her with the intent to rape and probably murder her for revealing the truth to the police and her family that he has frequently visited her at night and sexually abused her.

Sharon makes her way to Social Services, but she receives little help from them. They refuse to believe her stories of abuse, but they do find her work. Eventually, she learns how to support herself financially, but coping with her abuse, as this entire book proves, is a long-term lesson she will learn throughout her adulthood. Even when things in her life seem to be going well, she still finds herself tormented by the memory of her abuse and the frustration that her own brother, himself physically abused by her stepfather, will not believe her accusations of sexual abuse. Worst of all, her own mother deems her a liar despite having seen her stepfather coming out of Sharon’s room at night.

The result of such dysfunction makes it difficult for Sharon to love or trust; she inflicts abuse upon herself, scratching herself to release the toxins from the touch of her stepfather—the “night devil”—from her body, and also by making herself vomit after each meal, an eating disorder resulting largely from how her mother would starve her for days at a time.

Sharon continually doubts herself as new experiences come into her life. She has considerable difficulty trusting a man not to hurt her. As she says at one point, “It’s difficult to overcome and to believe anyone can love you if your own parents do not love you.” Yet she does get married and have children. When her first son is born, she is resolved to give him a better life than what she knew, promising, “I am not always going to get it right, but I promise no one will ever hurt you. I will stand by you for the rest of your life. I will give my life to protect you, and there will be no secrets between us and no pain.”

Just as things in Sharon’s life appear to be going better, another struggle and more dysfunction within her family always seems to arise. She finally locates her biological father, but the experience lacks the love she dreamed of experiencing. Her mother finally admits she knew about her stepfather’s behavior, but while Sharon wanted to be believed, she is also left wondering how her mother could have sided against her, preferring to be in denial. Sharon even finds herself caring for her brother’s children when he is accused of murder. And perhaps worst of all, she is forced to battle cancer. She is also continually restricted by the fears that still arise from her past, and when a doctor, against her orders, gives her a full hysterectomy while she is asleep, past emotions spring back to life as she feels the same sort of violation she experienced as a child at her stepfather’s hands—that a man did as he pleased with her body while she was unable to defend herself.

Through these and many other telling incidents, “Surviving a House Full of Whispers” proves itself an amazing survival story. It speaks to the power of the human spirit—that people can still be good and do the right thing in the face of dysfunction and repeated obstacles. At the end of the book, Sharon finds herself in a position of caring for her mother; when asked how she can do so after how her mother treated her, Sharon simply replies that being vindictive is not in her nature. What perhaps strikes one the most in both of Sharon Wallace’s books is that she never gives up hope, whether it is in searching for a relationship with her father, or simply doing what needs to be done for her family.

At times, the book’s writing and the events are a bit rough, but so was Sharon’s life, and that she has survived and is willing to tell her story to shed insight into dysfunction is a triumph in itself. Rather than play the victim, she has become an inspiration through her efforts to make life better for herself and her loved ones. “I watch my children with their children and know I ended the dysfunctional lineage that had been passed down through generations of abusers. My grandchildren are to be cherished and future generations after them.” Telling her story of how she broke the cycle of abuse and dysfunction provides hope to many others who have struggled like Sharon and are just trying to survive.

— Tyler R. Tichelaar, Ph.D., and author of the award-winning Narrow Lives

Reviewed by Paige Lovitt for Reader Views (4/09)

The author, Sharon Wallace, was the victim of both physical and sexual abuse of her stepfather while her mother was in denial and contributed emotional abuse as well. No one would believe her story.  Tired of being treated like an outcast by her family and friends, she goes to Social Services for assistance.  Feeling totally frustrated because they also don’t believe her story, she presents herself as a very angry, volatile teenager.  Inside, she is a child screaming for someone to rescue her and to believe her story.

To escape, Sharon takes on several jobs; most of them involve being a nanny.  Not all of her experiences are positive; however, she is relieved to be out of her house.  Not knowing how to recover from being abused, she takes on some negative behaviors such as cutting herself and eating disorders.  Sharon also learns that she can defend herself.  This makes her stronger, however, the intensity of anger that she feels when she is attacked, also scares her. 

Down the road, Sharon finds a wonderful, patient man that loves her.  He believes her story.  His love and support help her on her path to healing and finding herself.  When she becomes a mother, she is fearful for her children and initially finds herself being overprotective.  Learning to trust her own judgment, she learns who she can trust to be around her and her family.  Along the way, Sharon continues to try to salvage her relationships with her family.  She realizes that her mother is a very sick woman.  Her stepfather is still around, which is horrible for Sharon.  This man, whom she refers to as “The Night Devil” delights in the fact that he got away with his abuse. 

When Sharon’s husband develops a disabling health issue, the family is rocked by having to watch him decline and their financial situation becomes dire.  Still Sharon is able to hold them together.  When she experiences her own health crises she suffers greatly.  Still Sharon stays strong.

I found Sharon’s story painful to read.  It is horrible that both the family and the whole system would fail to protect an innocent child from abuse..  It was heart wrenching to feel the pain that she was experiencing.  I was so happy when she found a wonderful man to love her.  I truly feel that people experiencing abuse, survivors of abuse, abusers and people who work with these people, should read “Surviving a House Full of Whispers.”  Sharon’s story needs to be read, so that people learn from it. 

Upon realizing that history does not have to be repeated, Sharon says, “ …we don’t have to own the misery of our childhoods.  We can refuse it and return it to its rightful owner, the abuser.”   I am thankful that Sharon Wallace is willing to share her story in “Surviving a House Full of Whispers.”

<a href="http://insidescooplive.com/author-pages/Wallace-Sharon-reading-interview.html" target="_blank">Listen to interview on Inside Scoop Live
</a><a href="http://www.worldcat.org/oclc/InterviewWallaceSharon.html">Read interview with Sharon Wallace</a> <a href="http://irenewatson.typepad.com/readerviews/" target="_blank">
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From an early age Sharon is abused physically, mentally, and sexually by her stepfather.  As a child should, Sharon reaches out to her mother only to be ridiculed and called a liar. 

Faced with this added abuse Sharon reaches out over and over to Social Services who not only fail her miserably but add undue torment to her situation.  Sharon is left with only herself and soon finds out self is all she really can rely on.

Although breaking away from her devastating situation Sharon finds the courage and embarks on a life alone.  The trauma she endured gave her the strength and courage to survive where many would not be able.  Finding herself and working thru many issues formed from her childhood such as self-mutilation, alcohol, and eating disorders Sharon’s courage is that to be envied by everyone.  Faced with such a depressing situation I for one do not know how I would have weathered this storm.  Sharon struggles on thru the torture constantly inflicted upon her by her family who seen to make a game out of messing with her life.  While struggling with her demons she is constantly given more to deal with from her family.

Along the way Sharon is faced with promise.  Conveying what she has gone thru and giving herself to someone she loves then conveying this to her readers is probably one of the most touching things I have ever read. ““Your with me now.  He won’t ever hurt you again.”  Mike said.  He came over to put his arm around me.  It felt good to have a comforting arm around me; I had been alone and uncomforted for too long.”  As I read these words tears ran down my face.  It had been way too long and Sharon deserved to feel loved.

Sharon’s story is one that needs to be read.  Read by survivors of abuse, by abusers themselves, and by those who thought they had never been touched by abuse.  Everyone in some way, thru a friend or relative, co-worker or acquaintance is affected by abuse.  People need to open their eyes wide and when they think they may know someone in a situation such as Sharon’s it is their responsibility to step in where others do not.  Sharon broke her cycle of abuse, thru grit that many do not possess.  She is a survivor where many are not.  Thank you Sharon for sharing your story I pray it enabled you a much deserved bit of healing.